Wednesday Afternoon: M. falls out of swing and cuts lip.
Friday Afternoon: N. gets finger stuck in vacuum and rips skin off. Call 911 and discover that they "don't do anything for broken fingers so just watch it." It's not broken but bleeds intermittently for two days.
Sunday Lunchtime: N. falls out of booster chair, fortunately to the side and not forward into table.
Sunday Bedtime: N. attempts to dive off of changing table. Fortunately, I have a hand on him and catch him as he is hanging upside down. Reflexes like a cat.
I think I lost five years off my life (at least). I need a cookie. And a hug.